Then she rolled out what I'm sure she thought were her big guns. "Okay, Mikey, how about this. I give up the men, and we start over, start fresh," she said. She'd stopped me momentarily with that one. "And why in the world would I, could I, believe anything you say?" I said. "No, let me answer my own question. There is no possible way." "Mikey, Mikey, Mikey you know you can't live without me. And, in case you're interested I can't live without you. Yes, it's true you aren't much in the sack; but, you're not disgusting. I can deal with your inadequacies," she said. "Fuck! I said. "You just can't stop killing me with your words can you, Lily. Well, fuck you! Now get out. I'm going back to bed." I went back to the door, opened it and waited for her to get the fuck out, so I could cry myself back to sleep. She started to laugh. "Just kidding, just kidding. I didn't mean it. The fact is Mikey, I like it when you make love to me. It is so cute when try to please me. You get so. In the final analysis she’d turned out to be nothing but a cheap ass gold digger. I’d be telling her that in the unlikely event that I would ever see her again.But the babies, I would miss them. Oh my, I would indeed miss them. But I could not be around the cheaters not on any level. And a cripple and ugly: the kids would distance themselves from me in the end without the two of them even having to try to keep me at arm’s length. No, the children were lost to me too.The man had money. I could envision the possibility that she would be trying to hunt me down when she found out that I hadn’t signed the divorce papers. I’d made up my mind about that; no contact that was the ticket. I would just disappear from the radar. I’d have my disability and my freedom for whatever the hell those would be worth.My dad was the only one I could envision making any time for. I’d eventually need to let him know that I was okay, well, alive but that I would be moving on and far away. I didn’t know where.
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